This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
