we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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