Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
