just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
