well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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