i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
