her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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