wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
