Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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