You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
