I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
