I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
