If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
