Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
