On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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