she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
