New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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