your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
