Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
