wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
