I hate your face
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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