escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
