I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
