We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
home. puking in laundry basket.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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