Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
