I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
