As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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