Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
