Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
