Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
"it" just moved
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
