I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
