Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
