I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
