you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
