you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
