How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
