why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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