i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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