You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
foreskin is a definite game changer
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
