i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
