If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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