I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think people are normalizing furries
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
