Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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