the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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