i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
