I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
