Define "chronic" masturbator.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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