when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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