This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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