I hate your face
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
