just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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